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Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship, by Robert Garfield

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Review

"Breaking the Male Code will help men discover and accept their own rich, complex emotional natures and respect the wide range of ways to express themselves as men. It will help men resolve their psychological issues. Breaking the Male Code is book every man needs to read to live a happy and healthy life."—Washington Book Review"Garfield has written a book I didn’t realize I needed. It’s hard to ask for more than that."—Kansas City Star“Dr. Garfield explains why emotional intimacy is a rare quality in male friendships and offers a clear road map for men to forge deeper connections. His style is warm, engaging, and user-friendly. I suspect that countless wives will put this book on their husband’s bedside table.”—Harriet Lerner, Ph.D, author of The Dance of Anger and Marriage Rules   “Rob Garfield knows that the cure for what ails men is intimacy—connection to themselves and others. With compassion and wit, he shows men, step to step, how to move beyond the strictures of male code into the richness of an open heart. Both practical and moving, Breaking The Male Code belongs on the shelf of every man wanting to grow, and every clinician dedicated to helping.”—Terrence Real, author of I Don’t Want to Talk about It   “In this wonderfully readable book, Dr. Robert Garfield brings his extensive knowledge and rich experience to show how men think and feel about their relationships with other men. Breaking the Male Code delivers a powerful and hopeful message, one that provides men of all ages with the skills necessary to enjoy deep and fulfilling relationships with each other. This book has the potential to dramatically improve all the important relationships in men’s lives!”—Constance Ahrons, Ph.D., professor emerita, University of Southern California, and author of The Good Divorce and We’re Still Family   “A compelling book that goes to the heart of male loneliness and points the way toward deeper and more fulfilling friendships in men’s lives.”—Sam Osherson, author of Finding Our Fathers and The Stethoscope Cure   “Remember how Thoreau said that men ‘lead lives of quiet desperation?’ If only he'd read Rob Garfield's book! He'd understand not only why they're desperate, but also how to address their needs. A vital message about men's emotional needs, offered with care, thought, and great compassion.”—Michael Kimmel, author of Guyland and executive director, Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities at Stony Brook University   “With warmth and empathy, Rob Garfield takes on the task of helping us to overcome our stereotypes about maleness and our often incomplete definition of friendship so that men can relate to each other in an intimate way.”— Donald N. Bersoff, Ph.D., J.D., former president, American Psychological Association   “Garfield does a superb job of revealing the obstacles to intimacy in men’s friendships as well as providing a detailed guide on how to build such friendships. Linking the theoretical with the practical, this book will be extremely useful for men everywhere.”—Niobe Way, Ed.D. professor of Developmental Psychology, New York University, and author of Deep Secrets   “Breaking the Male Code is a book that will change lives. Garfield's broad and deep knowledge of men, their struggles, doubts and perseverance, coupled with their often unfulfilled wish to connect with other men, is evident on every page. His sage direction will enable men to relish life more fully.”—Evan Imber-Black, Ph.D., program director, Marriage and Family Therapy, Mercy College, and author of The Secret Life of Families and Rituals for Our Times   “Breaking the Male Code has the potential to be among every therapist’s best friend in terms of what they’ll want to recommend to their male clients. A valuable resource for males of all ages and for the women who love them.” —Robert Heasley, PhD, CMF, past president, American Men’s Studies Association, professor of sociology, Indiana University of Pennsylvania“In this rewarding self-help book, Garfield guides men through the whys and practical hows of developing fulfilling male friendships...It’s hard to imagine a guy’s guy picking this book up, but if he were assigned to read it, he’d be surprised—it contains an empathetic, approachable, skills-driven guide to an invaluable reward.”—Publishers Weekly  — Praise for Rob Garfield “Breaking the Male Code has the potential to be among every therapist’s best friend in terms of what they’ll want to recommend to their male clients.” —Robert Heasley, PhD, CMF, former President of the American Men's Study Association   “Breaking the Male Code is a book that can change lives. Garfield’s broad knowledge of men’s lives, their struggles, doubts and perseverance, coupled with their often unfulfilled wish to connect with other men, is evident on every page. Men will read this work and recognize themselves.” —Evan Imber-Black, PhD, director of clinical training at the Ackerman Institute in New York City and author of The Secret Life of Families and Rituals for Our Times"For men, developing close friends is a daunting task.  With warmth and empathy, Rob Garfield takes on the task of helping us to overcome our stereotypes about maleness and our often incomplete definition of friendship so that men can relate to each other in an intimate way.  With both real-life anecdotes and knowledge gained from years as a successful therapist, Rob helps us through the fears and struggles of establishing close male friendships and provides a clear path forward." —Donald N. Bersoff, Ph.D., J.D., former President, American Psychological Association 

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About the Author

Rob Garfield M.D., a psychotherapist and clinical faculty member in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, has been recognized by Philadelphia Magazine as both one of the city's "Top Docs" and "Best Therapists." An engaging speaker, he has presented his work on men's friendships to both lay and professional audiences and published numerous articles on the subject of male emotional intimacy.

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Product details

Hardcover: 320 pages

Publisher: Avery (May 12, 2015)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1592409040

ISBN-13: 978-1592409044

Product Dimensions:

8.6 x 1.1 x 8.5 inches

Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.8 out of 5 stars

26 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#710,790 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

There is nothing earth shattering in this book, but rather a collection of reflections and observations that I think would have most men nodding their heads in agreement, thinking "why isn't this being talked about". Dr. Garfield is doing a noble work here, he isn't trying to go full PC with a "men are bad, men are damaged" approach that makes this book readable for the "average guy". Summarized like this, in the book, we are challenged to honestly ask ourselves "When was the last time I made a true friend? If your answer gives you pause, this book is for you.

Rob’s book helped me better understand how to be a better friend, husband, and parent. I particularly enjoyed how he personalized many of the book’s topics using both his experiences as a psychotherapist, as well as by scenarios from his personal life. His insights into what it takes to really be a friend, and how to sustain those friendships are incisive and important.

Dr. Garfield has written a very readable and thought-provoking book about male friendship. His easy and conversational style offers a lot of insight into the nature of these friendships and the constraints societal conventions place on them. He makes a compelling case for their ability to enrich our lives and help us through the inevitable rough patches, as well as providing effective advice about how they can be formed, nourished and protected. This is a book I wish I had read many years ago, but it's lessons are certainly applicable and extremely useful for any stage of life.

A fantastic read on male-male relationships in the platonic sense. I found it incredibly helpful in strengthening my relationships with other men to build fraternal bonds. It's a great read to learn more about communication and making sure that your best friends are aligned with you. Well researched throughout with interesting suggestions sprinkled throughout.

This book is an insightful look into the elephant in the room for most guys. It shows the importance of men having deeper friendships and helps the reader develop ways to execute these, despite life's challenges. I found many of the key points to work for male friendships and for many of my important relationships. This definitely unlocks the power of attaining and giving support to the most important people in your life.

As a family therapist, I have recommended Dr. Garfield's book to my male clients. Breaking the Make Code highlights and discusses men's issues in an engaging, non threatening and supportive manner. It is a wonderful book for both therapists and the men and women they work with.

Excellent book on understanding ways to build healthy relationships with other men! This information is sorely lacking in our culture.

Reassuring and instructive. Doctor Garfield clearly has a lot of expertise,but writes in a clear and easily readable style. I found his anecdotes incredibly helpful, especially his personal ones that service and model of how to communicate with my own friends.

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